I think the headline editor was at the party…

Binge drinking kills 3rd China Commenist [sic] official this year

http://www.chinapost.com.tw/china/local-news/other/2009/11/10/232130/Binge-drinking.htm

Drinking 白酒 (Báijǐu) is a part of the northern culture in China. I don't remember it playing much of a role with my Hong Kong friends as, if they drank at all, would only drink beer. Because my HK friends were almost all practicing Christians, my sampling is seriously biased. 

But in the north, 白酒 is a very very important part of the culture. You can buy a 2L jug at the supermarket for 10元 (50+% alcohol) or you can spend any amount to over 1,000元 for 500mL. 白酒 is served at dinners or at the drop of a hat. It is almost an exclusively male activity thus it is well entwined with male-bonding type of activities. Women generally tend to be very guarded about consuming alcohol. My guess is that this keeps them ahead of men who, over the evening, can turn lecherous. 

白酒 didn't just suddenly spring into existence. It has been apart of Chinese culture for many centuries. I'm not sure if its role is going to change anytime soon. As long as Chinese culture retains its patriarchal nature, I expect that 白酒 will also retain its role.

so it is 4 am

I just got back home. by myself. just me.

I hung out at Mazzo for hours hoping that someone would be interested
in me. While I was there I met 马一鑫。Before coming to Mazzo, I
met 老倪 at a place to drink tea. There was a woman there who is
interesting... but I went with 老倪 to Mazzo. 老倪 went home. Some
co-workers were at Mazzo. But nobody for me.

Nobody for me. This is a reoccurring theme for me.

So... what about Amy?

In my drunken stupor the other night, I blogged a short burst about Amy.

We met on Skype July 2006. That's just over three years ago. We talked
a lot and shared a lot. We planned on meeting January 2008 but that
didn't work out. We have a connection but how well that connection
would translate into a "real" relationship is anybody's guess. If I
could find that connection again in someone close by…

Our problem is that her parents want her to stay close to them. They
are relying on her to take care of them as they age. She wanted to see
all of China. There is a photo of her that I will always remember. She
has her arms wide. She is about to step out of the shadows and into
the sunshine. But, she needs to stay where she is and take care of her
parents. She knows that I never had any attention on making a life in
her corner of Xinjiang. Neither one of us wants the other to be
unhappy so we decided to breakup.

But I've never met her face to face. She does haunt me. If I see her,
will the spell be broken or will it only become more intense?

There's another layer to this as well.

She is safe because she is unattainable. I am not safe. A woman that
falls in love with me might get hurt. If I need to return to Canada, I
might be unable to return to China. What will happen in 2012 when my
passport needs to be renewed? This is the underlining issue. So, I get
close to someone. Then things fall apart. Does it fall part because
the girl isn't interested in me or do I, at some level, sabotage the
budding relationship. The ghost of Amy becomes a handy tool in the
sabotage.

While I faced the challenges of the past few months better than I did
last Christmas, it was still a tumultuous time for me. Not a good time
to introduce another degree of disorder with a girlfriend.

Do I go to Xinjiang?

And I can't edit my postings

I must learn to restrain myself from inebriated blog postings.

我喝多了

I have a complex enough password that prevents me from texting when I
am too too drunk. 但是喝多了我还能enter我的秘密。我的中
文还不好。因为我喝多了。

我爱中国

我也爱中国的美女。

One such 美女 is Amy. Oh how I love her. She impacts ever
relationship I have. She is my perfect love. Every girl gets compared
to her. She is the phantom 美女。

Tonight I talked with 王頔。我特别想她的声音。是个梦
想。肯定我爱她。But that is all part of another reality.
Tonight, my bother 老倪 and I ensured that 刘斌 joined us. Her hair
is long. She is so so beautiful. She seems to like me.

So. Now what do I do? Amy, 王頔/王迪 is talking to me again. Oh how
I love her. But 刘斌 is also talking to me.

Fuck.

I wish life was easier. But it never is. There is no rush with either
one. So... tomorrow, I will play with 老倪 and 看 loupei.

The background to this all is that I miss Ryan. and Adam, and Jay. How
I wish you were here. How I wish I knew you, Kirkland.